


Unless You're Here

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Death, Depression, M/M, Murder, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1710809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin has left Levi, Levi cannot come to terms with it even after 6 months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unless You're Here

**Author's Note:**

> It's been two years since I wrote this and this fic is the reason I despite giving my ao3 out

Levi smiled as Erwin pressed their foreheads together, their breath mixing. “Mm...You know I love you right?” He said softly, pressing their bodies closer together. “Well...” Levi drew the word out. “You could say it more often.” He said teasingly. Erwin grinned and brushed their lips together. “I love you.” He kissed down Levi's cheek, towards his jaw. “I love you.” He kissed Levi's jaw line, making him suck in a breath. “I love you..” He whispered softly, pressing their lips together softly. “Now...” He pulled back and gave him a sad smile. “Wake up, Levi, you can't sleep forever.”

\------------------

Levi's eyes fluttered open slowly, he stared at the empty nightstand next to his bed, remembering pictures that used to be there. “Erwin....” He said in a hushed voice. “Why did you leave me?” His voice got softer, tears slipping from his eyes. “I miss you so much...” His entire body shook as he cried softly. He finally managed to stop crying and he pushed himself out of bed, grabbing a change of clothes and a towel, he headed into his bathroom to shower. He turned the water on, standing under the spray of water so hot it was burning his skin. He turned it to so it was warm after it had burned his skin bright red. Closing his eyes, he imagined Erwin was next to him, tracing old scars and sliding his hands down his body softly, kissing his neck and muttering that he loved him, promising to never leave him, saying he'd always be there for him. Levi opened his eyes, staring at the wall. “Erwin...” He said softly. “You promised me you wouldn't leave...Why did you break that promise..?” He turned the water off after washing his hair, he got out of the shower and dried himself off, getting dressed into clean clothes. He walked into the Kitchen and made himself eggs, eating quickly. He rinsed his plate off, pulled his shoes on and walked out the door, locking it behind him. He headed towards the elevator as he got a text.

[Text from Hanji: Hey, Levi?]

[Text to Hanji: No.]

[Text from Hanji: I haven't even said anything yet!]

[Text to Hanji: I know what you were going to say, and I'm not going drinking with you guys, now leave me alone so I can drive to work.]

[Text from Hanji: Alright, luv you babs <33333]

[Text to Hanji: Shut the hell up Hanji, stop texting like that.]

Levi slid his phone back into his pocket and opened the car door, sitting down inside he buckled up quickly and glanced into the rear view mirror, doing a double check after he though he had seen Erwin's eyes. _"You're imagining things Levi."_ He thought, he shook his head and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. When he got to the intersection, someone almost hit his car, and he found that he wouldn't have minded if the car had hit and killed him.  
  
Finally making it to work, Levi sighed and got out of the car, walking inside quickly. He hated his job, but it was the only thing keeping him going. He stopped by the drink machine and got a can of coffee before walking to his cubicle, he sat down and started working. About a half hour later he heard a familiar voice talking to him. "Levi, Levi, Levi!" He looked up, just above the wall, his eyes meeting the familiar Golden eyes that belonged to Petra. "Hey, how are you today?" She asked with a kind smile. "I'm fine, how are you?" He asked, almost robotically. "I'm good! Hanji wanted me to ask you to come out drinking with us tonight, will you?" Levi sighed and shook his head. "Not this time, maybe next time." He responded. "You say that every time!" He turned and looked at Erd, who was looking over his wall. "Just for tonight, it'll be fun, I promise!" Levi just shook his head. "I alread-" "Hey guys. trying to talk the munchkin into drinking with us again?" Gunther was standing in the doorway. "Don't call him a munchkin!" Oluo said from his cubicle. "Guys!" He said loudly before an argument could break out. "I already told Hanji I'm not drinking, I told you guys that just barely, now leave me alone and let me work!" Gunter chuckled. "Fine, you party pooper." He walked away and the others disappeared behind their walls. _"If you were here we would both go drinking, Erwin.."_ He thought, before immersing himself in work again, trying not to think about him.  
  
After work, Levi stopped by his favourite coffee shop. "Good evening Levi sir!" The kid, Eren said nervously, he had a crush on Levi and Levi knew it. "Evening...." He replied blankly. "Just give me my usual Eren.." He saw a small blush appear on Eren's face when he said his name. "No problem! One coffee with whip cream and chocolate sauce, and a chocolate muffin coming right up!" He hurried away to place the order. "Yo, Levi!" An arm draped across his shoulder and a grinning face popped into his view. "Yes Hanji?" He pulled out the money to pay as Eren came back with his drink. "Come drinking with us tonight!" Levi pushed Hanji away, looking at Eren. "I told you no, Hanji, now stop and leave me the fuck alone." His eyes flicked between the two of them. "So...are you two dating?" Eren asked curiously. "No, Hanji's just a friend." He shot Hanji a glare as she opened her mouth to say otherwise. Levi handed over the money. "Thank you, Eren." He shot Eren a quick smile before walking quickly to the door, not wanting Hanji to bug him anymore. "Oh, Eren?" Levi stopped by the door. "You should ask that kid Jean Kirstein out, he likes you." Levi walked out, heading towards his car. "He's acting oddly.." Hanji mused. Levi finally got home, he pushed his door open and walked in, kicking it shut. His eyes flicked up to the coat rack, disappointment flaring through him when he saw that Erwin's coat was still gone. He sighed and went into his room to get changed. Opening his drawers he starts digging through, looking for a shirt to wear. After changing he sits down in the living room to read a book. He flipped it open and groaned when his phone rang. _"Why can't people just leave me the fuck alone today?!"_ He flipped his phone open.

"Hello?" He said, his tone angry. "Heeeeey Levi! Come out drinking with uuusssss!" A familiar voice slurred, Hanji's voice. "Good god Hanji, are you drunk already?" He said, surprised. "Ppssht, nnnoooooo, I'm not drink at aaaalllll hahaha!" Hanji giggled. "Come ooooonnnn it's a lot fuuun." He could her her drinking something. "No, Hanji, now leave me the hell alone!" Levi hung up and shut his phone off, before flinging it across the room, it hit the corner of a picture frame and knocked it down. "God damn it!" He shouted, getting up to pick it up, He stood next to the picture, staring down at it. It was a picture of him and Erwin, a couple of days before Erwin had left him. "Erwin..." His body shook as tears slid down his face, remembering when it was taken.  
  
**_Levi shouted as Erwin suddenly scooped him up into his arms, a loud laugh coming from the blonde, Levi swore. "P-Put me down you ass! You know I hate being picked up!" he clung to Erwin's shirt, despite his words. "Well, if you really want me to!" He pretended to drop Levi, making him shriek. "D-Don't do that!" He buried his face in Erwin's shirt, tears slipping from his eyes. "You know that scares the shit out of me!" Erwin chuckled, Levi felt his chest noise. "Y-You're an ass.." He mumbled. "Sorry." Erwin gently set him on the ground. "You're just so cute when you're scared." Levi glared at him. "Sadistic bastard." He saw the smile on Erwin's face falter, a small flicker of guilt shot through him. "Erwin I'm so-" "Don't." Erwin snapped, turning and walking away. He hated being called that because he was a bastard child, his dad got another female pregnant while married, he kept the child, and Erwin was that child. "Erwin!" Levi followed him. "Erwin I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Erwin ignored him. "Erwin please." Levi grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a stop. "Erwin I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He pulled him to face him, staring up at him guiltily. "I am so sorry Erwin, I would never say anything to hurt you on purpose." Erwin's face softened. "I know Levi.." He responded softly. "I just..hate that word.." Levi pulled him down and kissed him softly. "I know, I am sorry." Erwin rested his forehead on Levi's. "It's okay." He smiled at him. "Levi, take a picture with me." Levi shook his head. "No way, I hate having my picture taken." Erwin just stared at him. "If you want to make it up to me, you'll take a picture with me." Levi spluttered. "Y-You jerk..that's guilt-tripping!" He exclaimed. "I'll do whatever it takes for you to take a picture with me." He responded with a sly grin. "Now smile." Levi sighed and turned so Erwin could wrap his arm around his body. "Fine.." Erwin pulled him close and pulled his phone out. "Say cheese." Levi glanced at Erwin, who was smiling again and allowed a smile to slid onto his face. "I love you Levi." Erwin said, making Levi blush bright red, just as the phone took the picture. "N-Not in public!" Levi exclaimed afterwards.  
_**

Sobs shook Levi's body as he dropped to his knees on the floor. "Damn it...If only I had known you weren't happy!" He started crying, close to hysterics. "Erwin...Erwin!" His hands clutched his head, digging his fingernails into his scalp, blood dripping from it. "Damn it!" Blood slid down his cheeks, mixing with his tears. "Why? Why did you leave?!" In a fit of anger and hysteria, he slammed his hands down onto the picture frame, the glass cut into his hands, making them bleed profusely, the glass sliding into his hands deep. "Why..." He stared at the blood pooling under his hands, growing to half the size, then twice the size of his hands. His head was dizzy, his mind blank. "I miss you..." He whispered. "Why did you do that..." Another flashback started, this time one he tried not to think about, it was the last time he had seen Erwin before he left.

_**Levi sighed. "Erwin, are we at the surprise yet?" He could feel a breeze, so he knew they were outside. "Just a minute Levi, I have one last thing to set up." There was the sound of something metal falling. Levi frowned, trying to figure out the noise. "Why are you suddenly surprising me with something anyway? It's not my birthday, it's not your birthday, it's not our anniversary, we didn't get another do- we didn't get another dog did we?" He heard a light chuckle from somewhere behind him. "No, Levi, I didn't get another dog." Levi nodded. "We didn't get another dog, it's not a holiday, so what are we doing?" He felt Erwin's hands on his shoulders, pushing him back a little. "You'll see, and it'll be something you never forget." Levi's heart started beating faster. "He's not going to..propose, is he?" He thought to himself. "Alright, hold still." Levi nodded. A couple of seconds later he felt Erwin's hot breath on his face, making him blush. "W-What are you doing?" He asked softly. "Shhh..." Erwin shushed him. Levi fell silent as Erwin's lips pressed against his. Kissing back eagerly, he reached up to put his arms around Erwin's shoulders, only to be pushed away. "Erwin?" Levi sounded confused. "Levi...when I tell you to, take the blindfold off." He nodded, furrowing his brow. The sound of him walking away could be heard. "Alright, take it off." He reached up and pulled it down, blinking several times his eyes focused on Erwin. "What are you do..." His voice faded away as he realized where he was standing, at the edge of the building, past the railing, prepared to jump. "What are you doing?! Get back ove-" His voice was cut off by Erwin yelling at him to stay where he was. "Levi...Listen to me...this isn't your fault, you have nothing to do with this.." Levi stared at him. "Don't jump.." his voice cracked. "I love you Levi.." Erwin smiled a tear filled smile, before letting go and slowly falling backwards. "NO!" Levi screamed, running forward. "Erwin!" He hit the railing, reaching out to grab Erwin's shirt, it slid through his hands. "Erwin!" He screamed as he fell, Levi fell down. "No..No.." He could hear the sound of people yelling from below. Levi felt numb. "Erwin..."** _

Levi stared at his hands, his palms turned towards his face. "Why...Why did you do that?" Levi started crying. "I'm sorry." His whole body shook. "If I was a better boyfriend....If I was a better boyfriend...You wouldn't have killed yourself!" Levi choked the words out, sobbing hysterically. "I-I can't do this anymore! Not without you.." His voice cracked. He turned his head towards his table and opened the drawer, pulling something. "I'm so sorry.." His crying had almost stopped. Turning the cold metal over in his hands, he continued looking at the picture. "I love you Erwin..." He pressed the freezing metal to his head. "I'm coming to see you now.." He closed his eyes, tears sliding out of them. A couple of seconds later there was a loud crack that rang through the room, blood splattering across the floor and onto the picture, staining it red.

**Author's Note:**

> No i still hate having wrote this and I wanna die


End file.
